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[doreimi]

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Reimi Sugimoto ⬤ JJBA: Diamond Is Unbreakable
residential district ⬤ ???
moonblessing ⬤ Cordis

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[doreimi]

Tell me the part that scares you. Just to me. Just say it out loud just once. That "worst thing that could happen" that you keep imagining. What is it?

[teaserving]

the worst thing that could happen
is that i drive him off with how shitty i am
or make him look at me differently. maybe with pity. not the way he does right now.
but i also could never blame him if he did that

[doreimi]

Because you like him, and you want him to like you. And moreover, you don't want him to NOT like you.

What part do you think is going to drive him away?

[teaserving]

fuck you mean besides the whole part about me sabotaging not just my fucking career but getting my partner AND boyfriend killed?
because that's a pretty big deal

[doreimi]

Don't be mean. I'm just trying to help.

...and anyway, it didn't drive me away.

[teaserving]

sorry
that's not your fault

i know.
and half the time i don't know what you see in me either

[doreimi]

Look, I know that's...it's the worst thing that ever happened to you. I know. And you know I know better than anyone that the worst thing that ever happened to you doesn't just go away. So I get it, you know? And I get being afraid to tell people about it. I do. I get it.

But there's a you that's separate from the worst thing that ever happened to you. There's more to you than just that. It never goes away, but it's not the only thing, either.

[teaserving]

how the hell am i supposed to separate that
it isn't just a bad thing happened to me
i did it to myself because i was weak and worthless

[doreimi]

No...you didn't.

Listen. You had a dream, and that's why you decided to become a police officer. You didn't do it because wearing the uniform would give you the power to boss other people around, or because you wanted to carry a gun, or...I don't know. You wanted to help people. You wanted to do what you believed in.

I'm not saying you didn't make mistakes. I'm not saying they weren't terrible mistakes. But that guy who joined the force is still a part of you. I know he is, because that type of guy is the person who feels guilty about the choices he made. A worthless, horrible guy wouldn't care. You still care, just as much as you did back then. You made mistakes. And maybe you'll never be able to forgive yourself for them entirely, but they were mistakes.

Worthless guys don't try to be better. They don't try to not make the same mistakes again. The reason I see things that you don't is because when we both look, the mistakes are too much for you to see past. That's the only reason why.

[teaserving]

when i look at myself
i can only think of the things i didn't do. the mistakes i made. and the mistakes i'll probably keep on making because of what i am.

i don't know hot to see beyond that. i really dont. i haven't been able to look into the future think i have one for awhile now and not because i died. but because of what i did.

[doreimi]

That's why Bruno was so important to you. Because you didn't have to know what the future looked like so long as you were next to him. You just had to stay by his side and follow him, and he'd know for the both of you. I understand.

But, listen.

You drank tea today instead of wine. And you called me.

That's two mistakes you could've made, that you didn't. Don't forget that.

[teaserving]

yeah
it's why i need someone stronger than me to tell me what to do
i dont trust myself to work alone.

yeah. okay.

[doreimi]

I think...

I think what you just said, that's important, too.

That's the first time you didn't say "I'm worthless". You said "I don't trust myself".

That second thing, I think that's the part that IS true.

[teaserving]

ah



guess you have a point

[doreimi]

You're afraid of liking Avdol because you don't trust yourself not to screw it up.

I think...if you told him that. Just that. I think he would probably understand, and he wouldn't pity you. I think he would get it.

I'm not saying you should, I mean. I'm just saying...if someone told me that, I wouldn't pity them. I would want them to feel like they could trust me. I would try to help them. I think Avdol would, too.

[teaserving]

i dont know about telling him
but i know you're right

[doreimi]

Maybe just think about it. You don't have to decide now. And if you never tell him, that's your decision and I'll support you 100%.

I'll keep being strong for you, Niichan. Okay? I promise. I'll be that for you, as long as you need me to.

[teaserving]

thanks
i wish i could do better for you

[doreimi]

...Listen.

Remember the other day, when I was up at the school playing the violin and I got upset?

You were the only one who figured out I was upset. You just knew.

You do just fine for me.

[teaserving]

yeah
ok
if you're sure.
i care about you a lot. so i want to be good to you.
especially since you deserve it.

[doreimi]

Hey. Can I tell you something else?

You called him your boyfriend. I think that's the first time you said that to me, too.

Call me sorellina, it makes me smile.

[teaserving]

just saying "my partner" made it a little more distant
but it was more than that
and that's how bad i fucked up

im glad you like it
niichan is too cute for me but it's fine from you

[doreimi]

Yeah, I kind of figured. I'm glad to have heard you say it that way, though. That you trusted me with it, and everything.

There's a couple different ways of saying it, you know. I just picked the cutest one because I'M cute, so I get to say things cute ways.

[teaserving]

i trust you more than anyone else

it's true you're pretty damned cute

[doreimi]

There you go, that can be my Stand's name. Cutie Honey!

Are you feeling at least a little better now?