Listen. You had a dream, and that's why you decided to become a police officer. You didn't do it because wearing the uniform would give you the power to boss other people around, or because you wanted to carry a gun, or...I don't know. You wanted to help people. You wanted to do what you believed in.
I'm not saying you didn't make mistakes. I'm not saying they weren't terrible mistakes. But that guy who joined the force is still a part of you. I know he is, because that type of guy is the person who feels guilty about the choices he made. A worthless, horrible guy wouldn't care. You still care, just as much as you did back then. You made mistakes. And maybe you'll never be able to forgive yourself for them entirely, but they were mistakes.
Worthless guys don't try to be better. They don't try to not make the same mistakes again. The reason I see things that you don't is because when we both look, the mistakes are too much for you to see past. That's the only reason why.
when i look at myself i can only think of the things i didn't do. the mistakes i made. and the mistakes i'll probably keep on making because of what i am.
i don't know hot to see beyond that. i really dont. i haven't been able to look into the future think i have one for awhile now and not because i died. but because of what i did.
That's why Bruno was so important to you. Because you didn't have to know what the future looked like so long as you were next to him. You just had to stay by his side and follow him, and he'd know for the both of you. I understand.
But, listen.
You drank tea today instead of wine. And you called me.
That's two mistakes you could've made, that you didn't. Don't forget that.
You're afraid of liking Avdol because you don't trust yourself not to screw it up.
I think...if you told him that. Just that. I think he would probably understand, and he wouldn't pity you. I think he would get it.
I'm not saying you should, I mean. I'm just saying...if someone told me that, I wouldn't pity them. I would want them to feel like they could trust me. I would try to help them. I think Avdol would, too.
He's a pretty good Stand, isn't he? He's being such a good boy lately, too. He's sharing his house with some...visitors...and he's managing to be so well-behaved even though he probably doesn't like sharing too much.
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Listen. You had a dream, and that's why you decided to become a police officer. You didn't do it because wearing the uniform would give you the power to boss other people around, or because you wanted to carry a gun, or...I don't know. You wanted to help people. You wanted to do what you believed in.
I'm not saying you didn't make mistakes. I'm not saying they weren't terrible mistakes. But that guy who joined the force is still a part of you. I know he is, because that type of guy is the person who feels guilty about the choices he made. A worthless, horrible guy wouldn't care. You still care, just as much as you did back then. You made mistakes. And maybe you'll never be able to forgive yourself for them entirely, but they were mistakes.
Worthless guys don't try to be better. They don't try to not make the same mistakes again. The reason I see things that you don't is because when we both look, the mistakes are too much for you to see past. That's the only reason why.
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i can only think of the things i didn't do. the mistakes i made. and the mistakes i'll probably keep on making because of what i am.
i don't know hot to see beyond that. i really dont. i haven't been able to look into the future think i have one for awhile now and not because i died. but because of what i did.
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But, listen.
You drank tea today instead of wine. And you called me.
That's two mistakes you could've made, that you didn't. Don't forget that.
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it's why i need someone stronger than me to tell me what to do
i dont trust myself to work alone.
yeah. okay.
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I think what you just said, that's important, too.
That's the first time you didn't say "I'm worthless". You said "I don't trust myself".
That second thing, I think that's the part that IS true.
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guess you have a point
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I think...if you told him that. Just that. I think he would probably understand, and he wouldn't pity you. I think he would get it.
I'm not saying you should, I mean. I'm just saying...if someone told me that, I wouldn't pity them. I would want them to feel like they could trust me. I would try to help them. I think Avdol would, too.
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but i know you're right
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I'll keep being strong for you, Niichan. Okay? I promise. I'll be that for you, as long as you need me to.
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i wish i could do better for you
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Remember the other day, when I was up at the school playing the violin and I got upset?
You were the only one who figured out I was upset. You just knew.
You do just fine for me.
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ok
if you're sure.
i care about you a lot. so i want to be good to you.
especially since you deserve it.
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You called him your boyfriend. I think that's the first time you said that to me, too.
Call me sorellina, it makes me smile.
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but it was more than that
and that's how bad i fucked up
im glad you like it
niichan is too cute for me but it's fine from you
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There's a couple different ways of saying it, you know. I just picked the cutest one because I'M cute, so I get to say things cute ways.
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it's true you're pretty damned cute
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Are you feeling at least a little better now?
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i thought your stand was arnold
yeah. still kind of shitty but better.
thank you sorellina
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Maybe now you can DRINK LESS TEA, Mr. Racehorse!
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no promises on that front
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And they're, um, cats.
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They were in a box behind a dumpster and I heard them meowing while I was walking home from math class. Josuke helped me rescue them.
ATT: box.jpg
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they're so cute
[and that's some points to josuke he supposes!!]
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Do you want to borrow a cat. Even just overnight? You could cuddle them.
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