[...O-Oh. That's...that's kind of strange, isn't it? Because Rohan's a little kid, he's just little and it's her job to take care of him, so he's not the one who usually says something like that. That's what she says, when he finishes a new drawing or does well in school. That's what she says, accompanied by a ruffle of his hair and a laugh and a squeeze. She's proud of him, because she is, that's how it is.
But this time it's the other way around. This time it's her, and the sentences aren't long but she reads them again and again. Reimi, I'm proud of you. And what a long way a single offhand sentence like that can go toward cutting away ugly lingering thoughts, ones that whisper things like It was better that you died and Everyone moved on without you.
Rohan's proud of her.
She's sort of glad that this is only text, because it means that no one sees it when she claps her hand over her mouth and smiles shakily into it, trying to figure out the right thing to say.]
I didn't do it sooner because I wanted to make sure I didn't do too much at once...you know, between my job and then classwork. But I decided to take a math class, since math doesn't change. And then for fun I'm going to try ballet. I'm probably too old to be any good at that, but I'm going to try anyway.
[ It's almost like, he doesn't fully realize the impact his words have like that. He just says the most honest thing he can think of. It's why it was so easy to say. ]
Yeah.
Well, we're here. You should do what you want to do.
[ "Since you're alive" he almost includes. But he doesn't. ]
It seems like it should be so easy, figuring out what to do with myself. It's not like I don't think I could! Or like I don't think people would support me, it's not that, either. But it's actually really hard...a lot harder than I thought it would be.
It almost feels like nothing fits right. Rohan the famous mangaka, that fits you perfectly, without a doubt. Or Tonio the master chef, that fits him just right.
But then when I try, Reimi the teacher or Reimi the dancer or Reimi the famous superstar model...none of them feel like me. The only one that sticks is Reimi the ghost. Or Reimi, Rohan's old babysitter, but you know what I mean.
But I'm going to keep trying anyway. And even if I never find it, what I was supposed to have been, then at least I'll know I tried. ...Right?
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I like your place a lot, really. You've got it set up so nicely! I haven't figured out yet what to do with mine, so it's kind of boring and plain.
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It isn't like you have to do much if you don't want to. I'm sure there's better things to do with your time.
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So, I'm taking some classes now! I just enrolled in them — two of them, so I'm not getting overwhelmed between that and work.
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But this time it's the other way around. This time it's her, and the sentences aren't long but she reads them again and again. Reimi, I'm proud of you. And what a long way a single offhand sentence like that can go toward cutting away ugly lingering thoughts, ones that whisper things like It was better that you died and Everyone moved on without you.
Rohan's proud of her.
She's sort of glad that this is only text, because it means that no one sees it when she claps her hand over her mouth and smiles shakily into it, trying to figure out the right thing to say.]
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...Thanks, Rohan.
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Yeah.
Well, we're here. You should do what you want to do.
[ "Since you're alive" he almost includes. But he doesn't. ]
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It seems like it should be so easy, figuring out what to do with myself. It's not like I don't think I could! Or like I don't think people would support me, it's not that, either. But it's actually really hard...a lot harder than I thought it would be.
It almost feels like nothing fits right. Rohan the famous mangaka, that fits you perfectly, without a doubt. Or Tonio the master chef, that fits him just right.
But then when I try, Reimi the teacher or Reimi the dancer or Reimi the famous superstar model...none of them feel like me. The only one that sticks is Reimi the ghost. Or Reimi, Rohan's old babysitter, but you know what I mean.
But I'm going to keep trying anyway. And even if I never find it, what I was supposed to have been, then at least I'll know I tried. ...Right?
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Try anything, try everything. You have all the time you could want here.
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I'll keep on making you proud, though, don't worry!
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