[For a minute she stays quiet and holds still, just feeling the way he touches her, mulling over the weight of her thoughts. Something has changed in his voice; she can tell that there's a stilted brevity in his tone now where there wasn't before, like somewhere along the way he realized he was letting too much of himself show and snapped walls back down around it again as soon as it sank in. Maybe he's uncomfortable with the knowledge that now they've kissed. Maybe he's more rattled than he wants to let on about the way that he found her.
Whatever it is, it sounds painful. Not the sharp sort of pain that stabs and releases, but a duller ache like loneliness that one just endures and endures.
She wishes she could tell him that he doesn't have to. That she doesn't care about any of that, because what she cares about is him. But deep down, she suspects that even she, who gets away with far more than anyone else ever has or ever will, wouldn't be able to get away with that.]
I know you're upset.
[She reaches for him, tentatively. Finds his hand. Twists their fingers together.]
You can be upset. It's okay to be. I won't...tell anyone.
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[For a minute she stays quiet and holds still, just feeling the way he touches her, mulling over the weight of her thoughts. Something has changed in his voice; she can tell that there's a stilted brevity in his tone now where there wasn't before, like somewhere along the way he realized he was letting too much of himself show and snapped walls back down around it again as soon as it sank in. Maybe he's uncomfortable with the knowledge that now they've kissed. Maybe he's more rattled than he wants to let on about the way that he found her.
Whatever it is, it sounds painful. Not the sharp sort of pain that stabs and releases, but a duller ache like loneliness that one just endures and endures.
She wishes she could tell him that he doesn't have to. That she doesn't care about any of that, because what she cares about is him. But deep down, she suspects that even she, who gets away with far more than anyone else ever has or ever will, wouldn't be able to get away with that.]
I know you're upset.
[She reaches for him, tentatively. Finds his hand. Twists their fingers together.]
You can be upset. It's okay to be. I won't...tell anyone.